As the crazy season descends upon us, we go into overdrive wanting to deliver the perfect Christmas – the perfect Hanukkah. Recently I learned something that caused me to stop in the tracks of my sleigh and reconnect with the magic of life and love.
My dad has always been a strong, robust and healthy man. He doesn’t look his age and still wears his version of trendy clothes from black velvet smoking jackets to bright red braces. Recently he has had some trouble swallowing his food. Several tests later and he has received the news that what he has cannot be treated.
Growing up I was aware of the importance of the two little china Mallard ducks that were on the mantelpiece above the fireplace. They showed signs of being repaired many times. Both were cracked and chipped yet these ducks always had prime position in my parent’s home. When dad began courting my mum it was a whirlwind romance. He knew how he felt very quickly. He went out and purchased two little china Mallard ducks. He gave one to my mum and told her that if he still felt the same about her at Christmas then both ducks would share the same mantelpiece forever.
This news seems to have brought my parents even closer and it has re-ignited the romance within both of them. It’s as if they have become incredibly grateful for the time they still have together and even the most mundane task feels special.
All my life I have been searching for romance, wanting to find that special person who wants to share their ducks with me. Yet instead I’ve chosen a rewarding career, independence and the most gorgeous girlfriends on the Planet. I live life at an accelerated speed, reacting and responding to daily challenges in the knowledge that I’m living my truth and fulfilling my purpose.
Carl Jung understood the fluidity of truth when he made the statement that what is true at one time for us, at some point no longer serves us and eventually becomes a lie. Watching my parents I feel an overwhelming need to honour the woman within me, the one alive in me right now who would love to be romanced and looked after.
The ability to really know ourselves and be open to the fluidity of life is so important. It’s so easy to get stuck on the tracks that lead to the place we used to want to go. Then one day something happens and we realise we no longer want that any more. We have a completely new dream, a new fantasy for our future.
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we had the courage to really remain steadfast to who we are and what we want in each stage of our life’s journey? Wouldn’t it be magical if we could change our mind simply because something feels right? Without fear of judgement from others or fear of judgement from ourselves. At what point in the cacophony of life will we hear the silence and step into the void ready to allow our heart to guide us to where it wants us to go.
Do we really need our own impending mortality to be the catalyst for change or can we embrace our heart’s desires right now in the moment? Being real comes from the centre of our unique essence and speaks to the moment from that centre. Real has a boldness to it, an essence, a spontaneity.
In my twenties I was desperate to learn how to like myself. In my thirties I acquired ‘stuff’ to prove to the world that I was good enough. In my forties I went bankrupt and discovered that joy comes from doing purposeful work. In my fifties until this point I have been driven to leave a legacy. Right now in this moment I want romance. I want to share my life with a man who loves me with a passionate intensity. I want to live in a little cottage by the sea and feed the birds.
Funny how things change isn’t it?
This Christmas feels an incredibly important time for our family and I’m really pleased that we can all get together on Christmas Day. Whatever your faith, whatever your beliefs, I wanted to wish you season’s greetings and send you my love. In the midst of all the celebrations and washing up, take some time to reflect on what you really want. Be kind to yourself.