This week my parents and my sister have written to a documentary maker about what I was like in my teens and the transformation they witnessed in me over the subsequent year. Their words made me cry. They really suffered as a result of my problems and their loving support of me feels very humbling. Reading the harrowing examples they gave of some of the worst moments of my traumatic teens made me realise just how far I have come.
I am not who I was in my past.
I am the woman that I am today because of the way I chose to respond to what happened to me. Everything in life gives us the opportunity to evolve into higher, better versions of who we are. Every challenge, every heartache, every failure and setback holds a piece of wisdom that has been crafted and customised for us by the Universe. We each tread a unique path yet our path leads us to a life of joy, happiness and enlightenment if we choose to learn, grow and elevate ourselves from our ego mind into our compassionate heart.
Today I felt compelled to share the tips, tools and practices that have worked powerfully for me personally in the hope that one or two maybe useful to you in your own life:
- Release and let go of any negative emotions that you are still carrying. Mark Twain famously wrote “Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.” If you are feeling sadness, fear, anger, guilt, hurt or any other negative emotion about something that has happened in your past then you are contaminating your ability to feel joy. At some point you have to make a decision that what has happened to you has happened and you can’t change that. You can only change how those memories cause you to feel now. In my own life I have found the best techniques that worked for me are Timeline Therapy and Tapping, also referred to as Emotional Freedom Techniques. They are quick, powerful and actually work if you are open and ready to letting go of your stuff.
- Be mindful of what you eat. Having had eating disorders for years, food has always been my enemy. I was always on different fad diets and I can remember a time when I ate only Macadamia nuts for days!! When I started to eat healthy, unprocessed food my body responded and I felt energised and much more balanced. I’m no longer on the destructive starve-binge cycle. If you have a negative response to some foods then when you eat those foods you are ingesting those negative emotions. When you are eating a balanced diet you feel more emotionally balanced. I recommend that you see a Kinesiologist who will pinpoint foods that are not aligned with your system. Be mindful about what you are eating because your mind and body are interconnected and the foods you eat effect your mental and emotional well-being.
- Become a regular meditator. Learning how to switch off your internal ‘Monkey Chatter’ is incredibly soothing and revivifies your energy. You are not your thoughts. You are pure consciousness with the ability to manifest that which you desire into your physical reality. When you begin to connect with who you really are inside then you find it easier to live your life in a state of flow. You’ll find it easier to cope with life’s challenges and have a sense of inner balance that creates calm. There are many different styles of meditation so it’s important to find an approach that works best with you. I love Vedic meditation because I went from finding it impossible to meditate to meditating easily for twenty minutes twice a day. Within just a few months of meditating I felt calmer, more confident and more ‘me’. I also realised that I had lost my desire to drink wine!!!!!!!!!
- Forgive everyone who has hurt you. I’ve worked with thousands of people over the years who have struggled with some of the worst human behaviours. Child abuse, violence, rape, cruelty and betrayal. What I’ve learned is that until you can forgive the person who has hurt you then you remain trapped in the misery of your past. It’s really hard to forgive those who have hurt us badly. If we can look beyond their actions towards us and see them through the eyes of compassion, sometimes we see that the people who have violated us were also victims of violation in some shape or form. If we can learn to see the truth in the hearts of others in the knowledge that their behaviour is not a real expression of who they are. If we can appreciate that sometimes to experience pure love we need to experience the opposite. In the moment of forgiveness we learn and grow so much. On New Year’s Eve I reviewed the men in my life who have hurt me in some way. I reflected on what they had each taught me, what I had learned about myself and what links and patterns were evident in my choices of relationships. I then took my written reflections and put them into an old shoe box and burned them in the garden!! It was a wonderful action that enabled me to release the emotional attachments from my past.
- Spend time in Nature. The more that we live in our mind the greater our need to feel grounded in our physical body. The energy from the trees, the earth, the birds and everything that co-exists on this planet can truly serve us. The beauty of Nature holds a wisdom that it wants to share with us for our greater good. Nothing clears the mind as well as a walk in the countryside or a stroll along the seafront. When we are mindful of the enduring beauty that crops up in abundance around us, we soothe our soul and find it easy to re-connect with who we truly are inside. Whenever I feel that life gets a bit too much I go for a walk and in just 30 minutes I feel renewed back in flow and ready for the avalanche of my workload. Watching the sunrise can move me to tears because it helps me to appreciate that we all live in a beautiful world.
The journey you are on maybe hard and challenging at times but you really do have all the resources you need to skip along your path collecting lessons like bluebells. Remember to pause and breathe deeply. You and I are children of this magnificent Universe. We are a mystery that we are continually exploring as we embark upon the adventure of life. The one thought that always sustains my optimism is that our life is unfolding as it should and all will be well in the end.
Sending love and light to you in this moment.